Please don't.

I wouldn't be able to walk away. I've grown too attached to you to walk away. I've never felt this way before in my entire life. A second without you feels like forever. How will i be able to live without you? I think i might die. I love you till it hurts but i'm not gonna stop. I can't. You could say i'm addicted to it. I really don't know what to do to make you believe in me; that i won't walk away, that my heart won't change. I know there's nothing i can do except to wait. I know i will have to wait forever. I will wait, because life means nothing to me without you. I don't care how terrible it is or how stupid it makes me look. As long as i have you, everything's fine. As long as you're here with me, i know i'll be okay. But even if i cried a million tears tonight, you still wouldn't believe me, would you? I could never really express what i feel for you into words. I could never find the right words to say and it seems that nothing can describe what i feel about you. I can only remind you everyday that i love you. I blame myself. I blame myself for growing so attached to you, for falling so hard, for not being able to turn back. 

Don't doubt me. 

Rose.

"My love is like a red rose
It may be beautiful now
But my sharp thorns will hurt you
My love is like a red rose
Yes, I may be fragrant
But the closer you get, the more I’ll hurt you"

-Lee Hi

Learning.

"i don’t want to keep writing metaphors about
people i’ve never met and places i’ve never been
because sometimes people start taking me seriously
and then i feel like a dirty liar.

the thing is that all i am is a stupid scared kid
with a word processor and an internet connection
who likes herself a little too much some days
and not enough on others.
i am not a person yet but i am very interested
in learning how to become one." 

-Tumblr (usb-toaster)

Quiet Place.

Are you happy? I mean, just because you have friends, you laugh at jokes, you feel that your life isn't actually that bad doesn't mean you're happy. Yeah, your life could be a whole lot worse. But when one day you wake up at 3am and you realize how quiet it is, you start to think. Do you feel lonely? Do you want to cry? Or are you happy with your life? You can just smile and go back to sleep? And despite all the worries you have, you're still glad about your life and you don't need anything else?

We are always so stressed out about things that we don't realize we need a break. A break from everything. And by a break, I don't mean stop studying and go on twitter, facebook and stuff. By a break, i mean go take a walk in the park, enjoy the scenery. Or do something that makes you relax, and go without a phone. Just clear your mind and relax, like nothing is bothering you at all. Forget whatever you're stressing over or worrying about. Just 10 minutes is enough. Or maybe if you're too lazy to go anywhere, you'd like to stay home, visit this website: http://thequietplaceproject.com/thequietplace

It really helps a lot and its soothing. Try it sometime and tell me how was the experience:)

With Me.

                    She woke up to the sun shining in on her pale face through the translucent curtains. Her eyelids fluttered, still trying to adapt to the sudden brightness. Ix. Her name was Ix. Ix had dark black wavy hair that reached her small waist and midnight blue eyes. She was tall and had very fair skin that matched her naturally  red lips. 

                    Ix sat up and noticed a fresh vase of baby's breath sitting on her window sill. It was pure and delicate, unlike her heart. Her whole room practically contradicted who she was. Ix was dull and... withdrawn. She never really opened up and she couldn't place her trust in anyone. People would say that she was cold and emotionless, when all she really did was build walls around herself. On the other hand, her room was pure white. Everything. From the walls to the curtains and her bed by the window. The sheets on them were white too, and even the desk against the wall. She felt like she needed the contradiction in her life. Except her clothes. They were all dull, just like her. 

                    Ix never showed her emotions, nor did she speak to anyone. Not until that day when she looked out of the window and saw him. He had seen her looking through the window at that time, and flashed her a smile. He had dark black hair like hers and forest green eyes. He was about a head taller than her and he had worn a plain black shirt with an old pair of jeans with his black converse. His green eyes were so intriguing that she couldn't have looked away if he hadn't. It had been months since, and they kept meeting each other everywhere. He would always strike a conversation and crack jokes and she would actually laugh at them. There was something in him that had made her feel safe, and that she could trust him. They had become really close friends and he was always there for her. He was her only friend, the only person she could trust and open up to. 

                   It has been six months since she had first met Dylan. She liked him, but she could never tell him. He was her only friend and she just couldn't bring herself to jeopardize that friendship. She took her black diary and a black pen from the white desk and started writing:

                   "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where i will always be waiting. I could never tell you how much i love you because i don't know if you feel the same way about me. I don't know what will happen if i ever told you i love you. You were always there for me. You were always so nice to me. Remember the time when i fell sick and you rushed over right after school to check on me? Remember the time when we got drenched in the rain and you ran off to get me a jacket and cup of coffee? Remember the time when i felt so alone and you didn't dare to leave me alone so stayed over the whole night, watching me?

                   I felt so safe then, Dylan. I have never felt so loved before in my life, even if it was just as a friend. And your eyes. They always look at me with such... emotions. It gives me hope. Hope that you might actually like me too. I have never felt so broken like i am now because i love you, but you couldn't know. I finally learnt how to feel but right now, my heart just feels like it has been ripped out."

                  Ix had spent days writing about him, about everything they did and everything she felt. She could never really tell him how much she had enjoyed their time together because she wasn't used to talking about her feelings. Especially since she was so closed up. She stopped writing for the day and left the diary opened on her window sill. The gentle breeze from outside flipped the pages to the very first page that she had written about him. She was already lying down under her soft, fluffy blanket to realize and she slowly drifted into sleep.

                Creak. Ix heard the door. She gripped her blanket closer to her and still pretended to sleep. The familiar footsteps gave him away and she instantly knew who he was. Dylan. She wondered what he was doing here in the middle of the night as he walked over to her bed and gently caressed her cheek. Then something caught his eye. Her diary. He picked it up and Ix was unsure which page he was reading. She was afraid he would just drop the book and leave her all alone, never coming back. She peeked through her eyelashes and thought she saw the slightest smile on his lips. Dylan sat on the side of her bed.

               "Your place is with me, it always will be," Dylan whispered and kissed her gently on the lips. 

               

Books.

Hey readers!
It has been a really long time since i last posted! I don't even know what I'm going to talk about today. How's life for all of you? Going well? hmmm... maybe not, since exams are coming. Aye. Mine's next week. yuck.
If you could be a book character, which character would it be and what book would that be? why? Lately, I've been back into reading again. Its amusing, how the words used manage to captivate you and draw you in, capturing every of your attention. You are able to imagine every single detail described and you visualize something so beautiful, something you'd never see in reality.
When i read, i feel like as if i'm in a totally different world, where the problems in reality will never be able to reach me. It's like an escape from the real world, something like music but more... imaginary. Reading is a wonderful thing because you create what you read. you could never really imagine the exact same thing as somebody else and that's what makes it unique. you're in a world of your own. You don't have troubles bothering you, no loved ones leaving you, no sacrifices needed. Just you and whatever you want.
Some magic or supernatural. You can be whatever you want. Your dreams would come true and you would never have to be miserable. It was books that made me feel that perhaps i wasn't completely alone. But.
One must always be careful of books and what's inside them, for words have the power to change us.

SUPER POWERS!

Hey people! so earlier today, i was thinking about what if i had super powers. hahaha wouldn't that be cool! I've always wanted to have psychic powers, or super speed, super strength or even the power to fly! what kind of powers do you guys wanna have? :P 

I've always wanted to have psychic powers because i want to know what people think of me, what they are thinking about when they are around me. that way i'd know if someone hates me or likes me. And like you can also know what the person wants and all, things would be so much easier wouldn't it? :) heehee. also, if someone was down, i'd have a way of cheering them up because i know what their thinking.

If i had super speed, i could travel through time! visit the past or take a look at my future. OMG i can even pass NAPFA with the best timing! teehee>< if i had super speed, i wouldn't have to wake up super early for school man. i could just run to school in less than a minute! i could sleep longer! woots~ too bad i don't having super speed... 

super strength would be fun but its quite dangerous aye. i'd probably break everything i touch:/ hmmm... better not have it. heehee. if i could fly, that'd be god for travelling too! fast and in the air! i'd rather have wings though. Wings are so pretty. especially if they're in black! big and black. how awesome would that be. 

Ohh well. too bad we live in a world where these kind of things don't happen. But i believe that somewhere in this world it exists! call me foolish but i don't care! teehee~ okay this topic is so random i don't even know what i'm talking about! shall end of here. good night people! 

signing off with a peekture of an apple which i bit into a heart! heheheh. my super power! kidding~ ^^